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Don't Quit The Day Job ~ 22nd March 2008

After giving it some serious thought over the past couple of years, I've finally decided to reduce the role that making games plays in my life. As anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes at this site will know, game development transcended "entertainment" in my hands and became an all-encompassing philosophy that occupied my every waking hour. That level of commitment and sacrifice enabled me to achieve some extraordinary things in this field. I've pioneered the most productive work ethic the games industry has ever known, unleashed it on some concepts we never thought we'd see, and basked in the kind of media attention that most mainstream studios can only dream of. But alas, after almost a decade, the wheels are coming off the machine and the fuel it consumes can no longer be justified. The amount of work that goes into this site and my games has always been ever so slightly out of synch with the rewards. At this level - as in all independent endeavours - there's very little money to be made (if any), and the only thing that made it worthwhile was the approval of an audience. Now even that can't be banked on, as the Internet evolves into an increasingly sinister place where entertainment has no value. Although it gives a lot of things life (myself included), the web also deals out plenty of death - creating a sea of mediocrity in which games, music, books, TV shows, and movies all find themselves being acquired for nothing and consumed with abandon. Heaven for you as a consumer; hell for anybody that would dare to devote their lives to mastering an art form. For all the millions of people surfing the net in search of entertainment, very few of them end up on the shores of independent gaming - and fewer still appreciate what they're looking at. Meanwhile, advances in technology lay waste to those that have roots in the past. It's bad enough that an independent game developer has to compete with the flawless visuals of the PS3 and the innovative control methods of the Nintendo Wii. The fact that Windows Vista has practically HALVED the number of people that can use PC programs without incident does nothing to strengthen the platform upon which so many independents rely. Throw in the stresses of running your own business and you've got a profession that has long since ceased to be "fun". All of which leaves me staring at the prospect of working inhumanly hard for very little reward - either personal or financial - and that's simply not a game I'm willing to play anymore. Although I'll probably always make games in the same way an artist paints and a musician plays, we can expect them to be downgraded to a rare treat rather than a conveyor belt of produce. Who knows? Maybe that'll bring back the carefree creativity that made me so popular in the first place! Until then, the MDickie you've come to know over the past 10 years must take time out to reinvent himself for the next decade. I don't regret the time I've spent here. It has been a unique and interesting life experience - the likes of which most people die having never tasted. I've felt the highs of being praised by hundreds of thousands of people, I've felt the lows of suffering their criticism - and I've emerged at the other side as a strong character that's able to handle both. Along the way, I've fulfilled a few childhood dreams and given you all something to ponder with regards to human potential and the creative spirit. That's my 20's in the history book. The 30's promise to be a very different chapter indeed...

"Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego’s in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You’re the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining
Is a measure of how you’ll be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you’ll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There's no indispensable man."

- Saxon White Kessinger

The Price Is Right ~ 17th February 2008

If you decide to purchase Wrestling MPire 2008, one of the first things you'll notice is that the price has crept up from $14.99 to $16.99. "Way to cash in on a product that people are falling over themselves to buy!", you might say. The truth is that the $14.99 price tag has been bothering me for some time now, and Reach only narrowly missed out on being the one to introduce a price hike. I've always prided myself on keeping the cost of games low (and always will as long as my games can be acquired for less than $20), but even the most cynical of fans has to admit that the $15 price tag was a little TOO low. A quick search on the net reveals generic independent 2D games being sold for $20, text-based wrestling simulators being sold for $35, and mainstream games being sold for in excess of $50 (I understand a solitary WWE pay-per-view can also set you back that much nowadays?). When faced with those numbers, it's hard not to think you're missing out on something. Not that I'm one to use others as a benchmark for what I should be doing! I appreciate that my independent methods are supposed to slash the cost of development, so rest assured that a whole host of other factors are behind those 2 extra dollars. For a start, my newfound perfectionism and commitment to quality has pushed production times to another level - with both Reach and the latest wrestling game weighing in at around 6 months each. It doesn't take an economist to figure out that you need to be making twice as much money when you're releasing half as many games, and a slightly increased price takes steps towards bridging the gap. Speaking of which, my increasing disillusionment with independent game development is bringing home a few home truths. I always copied the music price structure on the assumption that I would one day sell as many copies as those albums, but that fantasy seems further away than it ever has. The reality is that I always have been and always will be - like all independent game developers - a niche artist that entertains a minority of people. That being the case, those few people need to pay a price that reflects their rare discovery. Above all else, the biggest reason for the price hike is that the $15 you're spending today simply isn't the $15 you were paying back in 2003! A weak dollar on your side of the Atlantic and inflation on mine have conspired to ensure that I'm somehow earning 20% less than I was when I first started?! All of which, I'm sure you'll agree, is reason enough to throw an extra 2 dollars into the hat. If my games were sold in stores, I'd even go as far as $19.99. It's just that I appreciate that you've already parted with that much money by the time you've paid for shipping on an online purchase. At the end of the day, you can (and will) vote with your wallets - but please think of it as the days of you having it good coming to an end rather than the days of me becoming a money-grabbing capitalist beginning...

Wrestling Encore Joins The 6-Figure Club ~ 27th January 2008

As if Wrestling MPire 2008 didn't have enough to look forward to, BOTH of its predecessors have officially passed the 100'000 mark at Download.com - which practically guarantees that the latest instalment is going to follow suit! It's an especially big achievement for Wrestling Encore because it's been on there half as long as the original Wrestling MPire, so it's technically performing twice as well. Let's hope Wrestling MPire 2008 doubles up on that (which is the least it deserves) and we might just be celebrating the first 7-figure game next time...

A Note About New Year's ~ 31st December 2007

In case you've been looking forward to my annual double-bill of an end-of-year retrospective and a new year forecast, I must confess that neither are on the way. Chiefly because I'm buried in work on the current project, but also because 2007 wasn't a particularly eventful year to write about - dominated as it was by 2 projects that took a long time to materialize. Instead I suspect I'll cover 2007 at the end of 2008 - when it will indeed be "history" and I'll have had time to put each development into some sort of context. As for what lies ahead, we all know a booking instalment of this new wrestling game will take us through the first half of the year - and it's practically guaranteed that a remake of Popscene will follow shortly afterwards. Innovation should have resumed by the end of 2008, and that's when there really will be a lot to talk about! Christ, it feels like 2008 is over before it has even begun...

The Iceman Thaws ~ 16th December 2007

Ever since Wrestling Encore got overlooked for honours in late 2005, I've been known to become somewhat indignant when the Independent Games Festival rolls around. I'd curse their penchant for camp 2D games and claim that the show would be all the poorer for my not being there. However, this year's entries have finally opened my eyes to what the event is trying achieve - and I can thoroughly understand why a half-baked wrestling game doesn't fit into their plans. The pick of the bunch, Crayon Physics Deluxe - which brings your pen drawings to life as animated 2D objects - is such a breathtaking contribution that it transcends gaming entirely and stands as an extraordinary feat of programming (unless I'm missing something here; how does he make it look so easy?). A similarly creative effort is Goo!, which gives the classic Snake/Quix concept a visually stunning twist - complete with a unique (if perhaps overreaching) menu system to match. What really sells it to me though is the trailer's reference to a classic Bruce Lee philosophy that I myself advocate! I'm not entirely sure the game warrants it though. Meanwhile, even the cinematic side of things is represented by The Path - an eerie looking horror concept that promises plenty of sinister gameplay twists. It's not dissimilar to several horror concepts I've been toying with myself, so it'll be interesting to see how they make it work. For years, as you know, I've considered my work the only independent produce worth getting excited about - but it seems the scene is finally evolving into something I can whole-heartedly endorse and support. Quite frankly, I'll need to raise my game if I'm to remain a part of it as we head into 2008! Although Wrestling MPire 2008's destiny as the biggest independent game of all time is assured, it's also destined to be dismissed as "just another wrestling game" - especially by those who aren't fans of the sport. That's why I'll still have my doubts about entering it in the 2008/2009 contest. It seems there's much work to be done on the genre-bending, creative side of my act - and you can rest assured I've got at least one trick up my sleeve there! In the meantime, if you're new to the unbridled creativity of the independent scene, you can gorge yourself on this compilation of IGF entries available at Amazon.com and stores throughout North America. I myself am a small part of that project. You can find Wrestling Encore on Volume 2.0, but it's perhaps the last game you'll want to load up. Now who'd have thought you'd ever hear me say that?

Disrespect Your Elders ~ 19th November 2007

Those that compare my wrestling games unfavourably with THQ's N64 classics would do well to load them up on an emulator now. If, like me, you look back on them as the ultimate interpretation of your favourite sport, you may be surprised to find that the modelling is shakier than anything I would dare put out and the texturing is of such a poor quality that you can see every individual pixel! Even the animation, which is what I've always aspired to, has its patchy moments. And the less said about the garish presentation the better. This time in 2001 I was playing these games religiously. Now, just a few years later, I can scarcely believe that I'm single-handedly making a product that looks better and offers more. It's practically sacrilege for me to countenance such a thought! It's certainly an encouraging one though, and makes me feel good about my career as we head into 2008 trying to wake people up to what's being achieved here. That said, I have enjoyed using an emulation of WWF No Mercy as a reference tool. I run the game's comprehensive editor (they got me there!) in the background while working on my own animations in 3D Studio MAX, and frequently check back to see how they've approached certain moves. It was key to figuring out what was wrong with my Powerbomb, and will no doubt assist in countless other moves. It'll even expand the range by reminding me which ones are missing! I'll never make them all, but once we're up to speed with Wrestling Encore I'll come back to see which other animations are worth adding. The same is true of the costume possibilities, which are a handy reminder of what should be in my game and how they might best be drawn. Studying the way black is portrayed has already produced some nice leather trousers and a more detailed range of wrestling trunks. All in all, nothing will be worse than it was in this game and an awful lot of things will be better. I may be burying WWF No Mercy, but it's death won't be in vain...

Bring On The Backlash ~ 11th October 2007

When you're one of the most talked about game developers on the net, trying to stay out of arguments is practically a fulltime job! However, every so often there's a thread of discussion so inflammatory that you have to address it - lest it snowball into something that people actually give credence to. A good case in point is a recent post from our disillusioned friends at the MPire Mall. It lists every self-deprecating remark I've made about Wrestling MPire 2008's progress - not as an example of my unparalleled candour, but as a means of arguing that I'm a floundering has-been who's mishandling the project. Every innocent admission of this or that being "scarcely better than in Wrestling Encore" is seized upon as proof that the project is doomed already, culminating in accusations of "laziness" of all things (so that's why I'm spending 12 hours a day doing something so difficult that no other human is capable of it!). They say a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing, and that's exactly what we have here. Modders get to changing the appearance of my games and soon consider themselves to be my equals - or, dare I say it, my superiors. "We've got the graphical side of things down, so how hard can it be to go that extra distance and make a better game than this prick?" Try hundreds of thousands of mathematical calculations - any one of which would give you sleepless nights. Instead of nibbling on this or that, try churning out tens of thousands of frames of animation and hundreds upon hundreds of textures and graphics. And be sure to save room for the finest art of them all - design - which demands that you tie all of the above together in a manner that actually works. In any creative endeavour, there are valid reasons behind every decision being made and every course of action being taken. Diving into the water will give you a crash-course in what those reasons are. I've tried to explain them in my brutally honest news reports, but evidently that's not good enough for you. Talk about "going it alone" - I'm even making the biggest game of my career without the support of my fans! I'm Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel, and all you're doing is shaking my ladder and complaining that I'm using the same brush as last time. Wait for the finished article and you might just find that the brush works wonders. I may malfunction from time to time, but even a broken clock is right at least two times a day. I've already hit the spot once in my career. Are you sure you don't want to stick around for the afternoon showing?

Act Of Integrity ~ 3rd October 2007

It's not easy being a man of integrity. Like some sort of superhero, you have to be prepared to do battle with injustice wherever you see it. This particular adventure begins with the unlikely scenario of me embarking on an acting class - for no other reason than I enjoyed it at school and felt it might be a skill worth exploring as games and movies grow closer together. Hey, if you know you're capable of anything, why not? However, I had forgotten what it's like to sit before an insecure teacher and their flock of servile sheep. This one had the knives out for me from the start - beginning, rather predictably, with a stab at my name. She found the name "Dickie" objectionable and implied that I might like to change it for the sake of my career. "Not a chance", I retorted, pointing out that it was unique and memorable (a journalist I haven't had contact with in over 5 years instantly remembered who I was for that very reason). Besides, I wear it as a battle scar that states you can give me the most ridiculous name possible and I'll still make people respect it. She should have been paying ME for this wisdom! Realizing that my mind wasn't up for grabs, she then moved onto the physical and demanded to know why I was sitting in a "confrontational manner". This, I discovered, meant having good posture and holding your head high. I cautioned her that it was a side effect of being fit and confident, and refused to apologize for it. "Why is physical strength important to you?", she pressed, "Were you bullied at school?". "No, I bully bullies", I offered, "That's why I'm standing up to you". We could have made a movie right there with such classic lines! She wasn't impressed though, and pointed out that of all the people in the class I was the only one that had a problem with her. Trying to make MDickie feel bad about being "the odd one out"? The poor bitch didn't know that I could write a book on why that's a GOOD thing! I submitted that I was the only one with the courage and honesty to say what I was really thinking, and again refused to apologize for it. On the contrary, I took it as an enormous compliment. Any fool can sit there nodding their head and smiling politely if it gets them through the next 10 minutes without incident. Clutching at straws, the poor woman then claimed that "I need her more than she needs me". Again, I had to disagree and asserted that I don't need anyone for anything. She misunderstood my words spectacularly, as weak opponents often do, and dismissed me as a soulless robot who doesn't HAVE anyone or anything. I countered that divorcing yourself from "need" is actually the height of humanity and elevates you to a place of CHOICE - where you can in fact "have" anything you want. Since psychoanalysis was the order of the day, I then submitted that her thoughts turned to a "robot" because she wished I was one - and was rather annoyed that I had too much character to be controlled by her! And with that I stormed out of her pitiful class, which hadn't touched upon "acting" in its entire 3-hour length. It seems that skill, like every other, is one that I'll have to master on my own - free from the clutches of embittered has-beens who don't know what they're talking about...

Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants ~ 12th August 2007

As the entertainment industry stands in awe of the fact that Halo 3 has clocked up some 4 million sales in pre-orders alone, I'm not entirely sure what I - and my fellow independent game developers - am supposed to make of it. On one hand there's the vicarious pride of it being MY profession that's got both music and film running scared. Like a mistreated younger sibling, it has survived decades of mockery from its older brother and sister only to outgrow them in spectacular style! And from this lofty perch, game developers of all kinds should be salivating at the thought of being similarly successful. So why is it that I'm always thoroughly depressed to see gaming reach these dizzying heights? If I'm being honest, it's because I wasn't the one to take it there - and never will be. I've often fancied myself as gaming's J. K. Rowling, who single-handedly stumbles upon that one creation that captivates millions of people. Now that the honour has gone to a more deserving 200-strong team of pros, I - along with everybody else - must sit back and applaud the winner. However, delusions of grandeur aside, there's a far more legitimate reason to be concerned. Chiefly the fact that this newfound exposure and popularity isn't filtering down to the independent level. With so many hundreds of millions of people owning PC's and playing games, I find it increasingly frustrating that they're difficult to reach in any great quantity - and that's coming from someone who enjoys 6-figure audiences at Download.com! The 100'000 hits clocked up by Wrestling MPire and Wrestling Encore are just freak results connected to the popularity of wrestling though, and don't reflect the popularity of independent games in general (just ask the technically superior Reach as it struggles to surpass the 1'000 mark). When mainstream games come waving millions of pre-orders in your face, it feels more like "game over" than "game on". I've always set myself against the mainstream, preaching that my independent methods would fill its gaping holes and reign in its wild excesses. Given that the masses don't seem to share my disdain for faceless corporations and $50 price tags, it seems I must figure out a way of co-existing with the giants - and perhaps become more like them. Microsoft themselves extend this olive branch in the form of XNA and the lure of worldwide fame on their X-Box Live distribution channel. If my lofty ambitions are to stand a chance of being realized, I might just have to join the winning team...

"Oh, my foolish soul! The darkness of the grave is thy lot.
Do not be greedy for the light..."
- Kahlil Gibran

The Name Game ~ 18th July 2007

As the first updates about the new wrestling project start to trickle in, you may wonder why I haven't been referring to it by any particular name. It's with some amusement that I've seen people christen it "Wrestling Revolution" - since an article of that name foretold the project's coming earlier in the year. That was merely a headline and won't necessarily be the name of the game. Although that perfectly adequate title did cross my mind, I'd rather not burden the series with a parade of increasingly cryptic identities. I've learnt my lesson from Wrestling Encore - which was neither an "encore" nor a "masterpiece"! On the contrary, it's my intention to go back to basics by reinstating the original "Wrestling MPire" title - with the affix of "2008" to signify its vintage (as many other long-running sports sims have resigned themselves to doing). Then we can all relax and let the series run for as long as it wants without any pre-conceived notions about what it should or shouldn't be. A consistent brand should also prevent confusion on listing sites such as Download.com, where Wrestling Encore struggled to assert itself as the sequel to the 6-figure golden child that was Wrestling MPire. This way the succession should be clear enough for casual fans to worship at the right altar! Quite how all this affects the inevitable booking instalments has yet to be decided. It's well documented that I feel Federation Booker, Booking MPire and Booking Encore are stains on what would otherwise be a decent legacy of game titles. Diehard wrestling fans may get the message, but the notion of "booking" is downright confusing to the initiated or when taken out of context. Again, casual visitors to the list sites certainly didn't know it was a worthy companion to the wrestling games - as evidenced by the relatively miniscule hit rates. To rectify the situation, I may have to refer to the instalments as "editions" - such as Wrestling MPire 2008: Career Edition and Wrestling MPire 2008: Management Edition. For a guy that likes snappy titles, those longwinded explanations are tantamount to self-abuse though! You tell me. These things are never set in stone until there's a logo, so let me know if this is the best step forward for my best game yet or simply a lot of fuss over nothing...

The Swan Dive ~ 10th July 2007

As a wrestling fan and a purveyor of games about it, many of you have wondered why I allowed the horrific events surrounding Chris Benoit's death to go unmentioned. The simple answer is that I, like everybody else, didn't know quite what to make of it. When a wrestler dies (even by their own hand) we instinctively eulogize about their career and bid them a fond farewell. But what to make of somebody that took a wife and child with him? Do we mourn a legend or spurn a murderer? Unfortunately, the answer isn't as black & white as the newspaper ink the gushes forth on the matter. It may be easy to dismiss Benoit as a drug-fuelled butcher, but the weakest links are the easiest to make - and you'll never find me taking that road! Rather, I'd like to revert to something I wrote in these commentaries several weeks ago about "the need to feel special". We observed that it's this need that "brings out the best in us, yet the worst in us" - and those words could hardly be more poignant than in the aftermath of a wrestling superstar that found himself at the darkest depths of human behaviour. Benoit's "need to feel special" served him well for a great many years. It drove him to every training session at Stu Hart's Dungeon, and steered him through every quality performance on either side of the Pacific Ocean - eventually culminating in the highest accolade of them all: a WWE title run. But, evidently, it also took its toll. The demands of a life on the road left pots boiling over at home, and the need to hang with the big boys brought that needle to his arm one too many times. The candle was burning at both ends, to say the least, and it inevitably expired on that fateful weekend when killing all involved seemed to make sense. I don't believe that anybody is inherently evil. Nor do I believe that anybody dies in vain. The Benoit family invited the world's media upon them as a damning indictment of how self-destructive the wrestling business has become, and their fate serves as a stark warning to those that would jump through such hoops or ask others to do so. A better path awaits, and the tombs of these wrestlers are erected as walls that might guide us along it. It's a route whereby Owen Hart wrestles instead of performing stunts, where Eddie Guerrero can be his athletic self instead of a bodybuilder, and where Chris Benoit's time at home is something to live for rather than die for...

"When a member of society falls down, he falls for those behind him - as a
caution against the stumbling stone. And he falls for those ahead of him - who,
though faster and surer of foot, failed to remove the stone..."
- Kahlil Gibran

Platform Games ~ 6th July 2007

Just as Reach ushers in a new era of quality and ensures my work will remain relevant for a long time yet, it seems a whole other obstacle has emerged to hold things back. I am, of course, talking about the fact that hardly anybody can get the damn games to work now that Windows Vista has brought yet more confusion to the PC platform! It's bad enough that every single PC is different (not least in the way it's managed by its user) and can find a million reasons to take exception to even the most expertly crafted program. Hell, I cling to Blitz 3D for its simplicity (all that's required is DirectX) - but even that can't sail through the choppy seas of the PC platform without incident. And when the complaints land on my doorstep, it's hard to know what to say. The game works perfectly for me, and him, and her... I can't even begin to imagine why it isn't working for you! It's not an issue of abandoning Blitz to "stay ahead with the times" with the latest tools such as Microsoft's own XNA. That's so fussy that I couldn't even get the application to work on my laptop - let alone the games that it spews out! And before you accuse me of being a clueless independent novice, this is a problem that even the mightiest of mainstream developers can't tackle. Of the past dozen or so professional games I've been tempted to buy, precisely ONE of them worked on my state-of-the-art workstation (Civilization 3 if you're interested). One wonders how PC developers make a living against such odds, and the answer is that they probably don't! If my humble games (which are designed to work for as many people as possible) continue to get caught up in the storm then I'll no doubt share their fate. I don't wish to dwell on that negative prospect though, and bring it up only as a challenge that we might enjoy conquering. In the meantime, please exercise a little common sense as players and refrain from buying the games - any game - before you know it works for you. That's what the numerous demos and trials are for. No matter how excited you are about a release or how much you wish to support my work, it doesn't help anybody to step onto this minefield with your eyes closed...

The Secret ~ 3rd June 2007

If I have one hobby, it's the dogged pursuit of new challenges and skills with which to meet those challenges. When that's the case, achievements that mean nothing to you tend to be awe-inspiring to others. When a family member notices that you're suddenly capable of playing a musical instrument, their eyes light up and they ask what the secret is. When friends notice that your level of fitness has exploded, their eyes light up and they ask what the secret is. And when strangers realize what you do for a living, you best believe their eyes light up and they ask what the secret is! Their eyes "light up" because they see you as a fast-track to achieving those things themselves. It's normally difficult, but this guy will help me make it happen overnight! They're invariably disappointed to find that the "secret" is that there is no secret. Do you understand what I just said? The belief that there is a secret is what holds people back from doing something in the first place. They give it an almost mythical status that would require a miracle, and thus convince themselves that it isn't even worth trying - when the unpalatable truth is that it's only a few weeks of hard work away. You know how to play the piano. You sit in front of a mess of keys and play feeble tunes until you progress to a good one! You know how to make games. You sit in front of another mess of keys and give yourself a headache staring at code until it makes sense. And you definitely know how to improve your body. See that thing over there that weighs more than you? Pick it up! It really is as simple as that, but you'll never know as long as you run around in circles looking for a quick fix. There isn't one, and even if there was it would only be temporarily effective. It's what Bruce Lee referred to as having "no way as way" and "no form as form". When you cling to one belief about something or one method of doing it, then you instantly lose all the others - one of which might just be what you're looking for. And as the Master Jesus taught, when that belief doesn't include yourself it's all for nought. While people marvelled at him, he marvelled at why they marvel at him - knowing full well that they were capable of doing it themselves! The minute they subjugated themselves to him, they instantly lost that innate power and doomed themselves to be floundering followers rather than masters of their own destiny. Hell, even Nike stumbled across this wisdom when they were trying to sell you a pair of shoes. The next time you see someone achieving something and you want to know "what the secret is", just do it...

The Ego Has Landed ~ 20th May 2007

Game Shark's independent gaming newsletter recently shone its spotlight on me and rather perceptively observed that the listing of my name countless times in the credits is either an act of immense egotism or a reflection of undoubtedly hard work. Happily, they plumped for the latter - but it got me thinking about the many people that may have swung the other way. Of all the criticisms levelled at my work, the notion that I'm somehow an "arrogant" force of evil is the one that disappoints me the most. Chiefly because, as anyone who's ever received an e-mail response from me will know, it's simply not true. An arrogant message is that I am great AND YOU ARE NOT, whereas my message has always been that I am indeed great AND SO ARE YOU! Confidence, pride and optimism are mine to be sprinkled over my achievements as I see fit. Whether you inherit that positivity or allow your insecurity to perceive it as a threat is entirely up to you. And there, in a nutshell, lies the reason that my attitude divides so many people. When your mind is clouded by negativity then positivity becomes a dirty word - a bright light to be avoided or a dragon to be slain. The irony is that those who question my attitude so fiercely are quick to display a bad one themselves - such as the witch-hunts that regularly pepper the Blitz forums. Which is truly the most "arrogant" - to take an inordinate amount of pride in your own achievements or to mercilessly criticize others when you scarcely have the authority to do so? The answer speaks for itself, and its volume grows louder with altruistic posts such as these that cannot be found in the empty chambers of my critics. That said, their accusations aren't entirely unsubstantiated. I was once enslaved by my ego. When you wake up one morning and find thousands of e-mails praising a game you've made or you see your name in print time and time again, it does something to you. You go from being nothing to something and you're not sure how to play the role. You call on it to elevate yourself above others while subjugating anyone who would dare be your enemy. Then, ideally, you accept that with great power comes great responsibility and you reverse the situation. You realize that anybody else in your shoes would act the same way, which ironically means you cease to be "special"! The truly special are those that have the most to brag about and choose to do so the least. As Janet Jackson once said, "we all have the need to feel special - and it's this need that brings out the best in us yet the worst in us". In my case, we've already seen the worst. Let's look ahead to the best... or is that an arrogant thing to say?

Final Fantasy ~ 29th April 2007

Don't you love it when two separate passions dovetail to compliment one another? Having learnt to read and play music to a decent level, I've spent the past few months trawling the Internet for popular tunes to add to my repertoire - and recently found myself staring at the sheet music for all those classic Super Nintendo games that occupied my gaming days! Simply hearing the quaint Japanese music of Secret Of Mana and co again is enough to send a nostalgic shiver down your spine, but to suddenly be able to PLAY them too is especially poignant. It's as though I once had my nose pressed up against the windows of a building, and have now been given the keys to roam around inside. It's the same feeling I get as my fitness regime takes me ever closer to looking (and feeling) like the wrestlers I admired so much when I was younger. I once wondered what it must be like to stroll through life with such a muscular frame, and now my only problem is finding clothes to fit! So too with the creative comradery that comes with celebrity itself. One minute they're untouchable characters on a screen, the next you're fielding phone calls and e-mails from members of their inner circle. Speaking of which, one minute you're a boy delivering newspapers, the next you ARE the news in that paper. One minute you're reading articles in gaming magazines, the next you're the one writing them. And lest we forget, one minute you're playing games and the next you're making the damn things! Whether your goals are physical or professional, I can assure you that the realm of fantasy eventually becomes reality as years of sincere effort roll by. Incidentally, if anybody else happens to be learning to play an instrument, I can't recommend MusicNotes.com enough - as both a source of sheet music itself and a program for interacting with it...

Six-Figure Celebrations! ~ 9th April 2007

How fitting that on this weekend of "resurrections" one of my long buried projects should rise from the dead to shine again! As of today, the original Wrestling MPire has been downloaded over 100'000 times from Download.com alone - and Wrestling Encore is on course to beat it with 70'000 downloads despite being available half as long. That may not sound like much at a point in time when 50 Cent can sell a million copies of an album in a week, but it's not bad for just ONE of many sites that the game is listed at. Especially since my core fanbase already have the games by the time they've been posted elsewhere, so these are almost entirely new fans and don't even hint at the true number of people playing! The series certainly ranks among the most popular independent releases of recent times, and reigns supreme within its genre - second only to the mainstream antics of WWE and co. More impressively, it has even managed to cling onto a record of near-perfect reviews under that intense scrutiny. Considering these games are mere "beta" versions compared to what's coming later this year, it's mind-boggling to ponder how high the new games might reach! Who knows, in a couple of years time we might be celebrating joining that elite 7-figure club...

If It Ain't Broke... ~ 6th April 2007

At what point does the mantra of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" turn into laziness? That's not a rhetorical question - it's a real one that I have to ask myself every day of Reach's production! With this next batch of games I was hoping to push things forward in every possible respect - from the graphics and gameplay right down to the presentation. However, upon turning my attention to the character selection process I find myself recreating the exact same system from Wrestling Encore... which is the exact same system from Wrestling MPire... which is the exact same system from Federation Booker way back in 2003! Seriously, is that laziness or common sense? Is there a better way to give you access to dozens of characters than that matrix of boxes? Is there a better place to display the profiles rather than up in the top corners at either side of the logo? Is there a better layout for that information than the cluster of multicoloured text we currently have? Hard Time and Grass Roots did their best to distance themselves from these things and explore new territory (and I thought the latter in particular did an admirable job), but they had the luxury of being more simplistic concepts. Here, there's twice as much information to impart at any one time - so you suddenly find yourself with fewer options than you'd like. For the sake of the wrestling game that will follow, be sure to let me know how you feel about this aspect of my work. Will you be looking forward to breezing through a menu system that you're familiar with, or would you be discouraged if things still looked and worked exactly as they did 4 years ago? At this point in my career I'm capable of creating anything that springs to mind. The question is, is there anything to create?

A Life Less Ordinary ~ 19th March 2007

This post was supposed to talk about how you SHOULDN'T follow in my footsteps, but I had to quickly rewrite it in light of one recent correspondence! After reading my passionate call to arms in Develop magazine some 3 years ago, Peter Stock was inspired to give independent game development a shot - and now he's making a living from his own project, Armadillo Run, which is also up for honours at the Independent Games Festival. In true MDickie style, he's even diverting profits to charitable causes! You always hope that your words and actions will have such an effect on people, but you can never be sure because they don't necessarily get in touch to tell you so. The only downside is that I'll eventually put myself out of business by letting thousands of protégés out of their cages to become better than me! Before anybody else gets ahead of themselves and does just that, I would like to share my initial thoughts about the pitfalls of independent game development. Although I make a living from my games, it's by no means a "comfortable" living - and certainly not a secure one. To become a millionaire, you need to be reaching millions of people - whereas thousands are all you have to hope for at this level. I'm only able to make that work for me because, unlike most people, I don't particularly care about money. I dwell in humble accommodation, I don't have a family to support, I'm resistant to the allure of materialism, and I'm so thoroughly self-sufficient that I seldom have to pay anyone to do anything on my behalf! Meanwhile, on the business side of things, I'm in the unique position of being able to churn out an extraordinarily high number of projects to an extraordinarily large audience - while pocketing an extraordinarily high percentage of the profits. All of which helps to make a little go a very, very long way! My point is that if you want to do something unusual for a living, you may also have to adopt an equally "unusual" lifestyle. Not everybody is cut out for that (which is why so many fail), but it's there for the taking if you choose. Like a superhero costume haunting you in the closet, a life of personal sacrifice and professional gain awaits if you simply slip on the mask...

The Enemy Within ~ 16th March 2007

As a gesture of goodwill in the build up to a new wrestling game, I've decided to resume promoting the MPire Mall fansite so that you've got somewhere to exchange ideas and vent your excitement! Plus, if you can't wait until then for some improved wrestling action, you can always breathe new life into Wrestling Encore with the various patches on offer. I understand that a patch that was merely hinted at 6 months ago has since been fully released, and is even in the process of being replaced by a another - so feel free to check that out. At this juncture, I should probably also address a request that has been flooding my inbox since a new wrestling project was announced. Not content with my own humble advances with Reach, a lot of you are suggesting that I should rope in the said editors to help with the workload and create better graphics as standard. A seductive suggestion but, alas, not a practical one. I cannot stress enough that everything MDickie.com represents - from the productivity through to the creativity - is down to me working alone. The minute you rely on so much as one other person for anything, it all goes out the window and you're stumbling along like all the other game developers. Trust me, I've turned down the support of professional 3D artists such is the truth in the above statement! Merely working underneath a publisher was enough to drive me insane. Plus, I could do without the inevitable aggravation of squabbling with contributors over "credit" and "reward". I didn't become the most powerful game developer in the world (in terms of freedom) to have my actions infringed upon by others. Yes, I'm sure certain things would look better with the help of dedicated artists (and my ears prick up at the suggestion of anything that would reduce the inhumane task of animating hundreds of moves!) - but the motorcycle I'm riding isn't designed to be burdened by others. It's best that I'm left alone to release my own game, which is then pounced upon by others as they see fit. As long as the public have access to either, it needn't be an issue of choice...

Delusions Of Grandeur ~ 16th February 2007

As yet another new character model strolls onto the scene and redefines the potential of my work, my thoughts once again turn to the bittersweet chasm between past and present. From day one, each increasingly sophisticated project has been responsible for both excitement about the future and sorrow for the past. I say "sorrow" because, as the developer, each project becomes unplayable in my eyes once it has been bettered - and must be confined to the history books! The mighty Wrestling Encore has already been toppled by such comparisons, and now takes its seat as a spectator to Reach - waiting for its time to shine again. It's the same feeling I got when Wrestling Encore itself antiquated the original Wrestling MPire series - as evidenced by this retrospective that was dedicated to pointing out the differences. It won't be long before Wrestling Encore is similarly embarrassed, and Reach after it in lieu of the games of 2008. It makes me think I was deluded to ever take pride in those games in the first place, and even more so to do it again with the latest one - which probably still looks poor to those spoilt by mainstream games! All the criticism I had once dismissed as "ignorant" suddenly seems understandable, and even richly deserved. In that case, what's the point? Why bother making Reach if I'm deluded about its qualities and it'll be old news by this time next year? The simple answer is that not all delusions are bad! It's in the grip of the illusion that I find the passion to do what needs to be done. The insurmountable task of making a game single-handedly is reduced to child's play when fuelled by blind faith. And if that wasn't the case you could argue that many important evolutionary steps would have never been taken. If I wasn't "deluded" enough to think that my early 3D work was good, it never would have lifted us out of the world of 2D. If I wasn't "deluded" enough to think that Wrestling Encore was worth getting excited about, you'd still be stuck with Wrestling MPire. And now, with its head tilted skyward, Reach merrily staggers further down that road. No, it won't be the best game ever made - and yes, its time in the sun will be limited - but it's still part of a process that never stops spiralling towards perfection. When you like where you are today, yesterday ceases to be something to regret and tomorrow becomes something to relish...

Touch The Sky ~ 20th January 2007

Although you wouldn't know it from this site, my profound belief that anything is possible is seldom limited to the world of games. Just this winter, I quietly added the ability to juggle and play the piano to the burgeoning list (although not at the same time I hasten to add!). The latter, in particular, I had always considered to be as close to "impossible" as my vocabulary goes. However, after taking the plunge, it turns out that learning the language of a computer bodes well for learning the language of music (as does being able to type to the tune of a million words per second!). I went from not being able to read music at all to playing with both hands, and banging out some vaguely recognizable tunes, within a week. A few months later and it won't be long before the skill is put to use in my games. But I digress. The purpose of this post was to talk more about overcoming pessimism en route to achieving the impossible. When I preach this message to people in my daily life, their usual reply is, "What about the disabled? Surely there's a limit to what they can do?". To them I say, what about Stephen Hawking? He can barely move a muscle in his body, but still manages to be a best-selling author and an important contributor to his field. Christopher Reeve stepped outside of his disability in similar fashion to continue to achieve great things. The message here is that there's no limit to the heights one might reach - only the means by which one might do it. No, Stephen Hawking will never become the heavyweight champion of the world - but his name will still be etched on the 20th century alongside Muhammad AlI's. Progress in any field, therefore, becomes about downplaying what you can't do and focusing on what you CAN. In my article, Inspiration For The Interactive Generation, I used the example of the bee. Science says he can't fly, but the living creature says otherwise! He doesn't care what you think he can and can't do, and just does what feels right. You too must drown out the pessimistic whinging of the human mind (including your own) if you wish to touch the sky. It's never a question of "if" something is possible so much as a question of "how", and the answer will only present itself once you find the silence to listen...

Music To My Ears  ~ 10th December 2006

Since they're so frighteningly similar to my own, I thought I'd let Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart share his thoughts on solo creativity this month: "When I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer – say traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep: it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best and most abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not; nor can I force them. Those ideas that please me I keep in my memory, and am accustomed, as I have been told, to hum them to myself. If I continue in this way, it soon occurs to me how I may turn this or that morsel to account, so as to make a good dish of it.

All this inspires my soul, and provided I am not disturbed, my subject enlarges itself, becomes methodized and defined, and the whole, though it be long, stands almost complete and finished in my mind, so that I can survey it, like a fine picture or a beautiful statue, at a glance. Nor do I hear in my imagination the parts successively, but I hear them, as it were, all at once. What a delight this is I cannot tell! All this inventing, this producing takes place in a pleasing lively dream. Still the actual hearing of the tout ensemble is after all the best. What has been thus produced I do not easily forget, and this is perhaps the best gift I have my Divine Maker to thank for.

When I proceed to write down my ideas, I take out of the bag of my memory, if I may use that phrase, what has been previously collected into it in the way I have mentioned. For this reason the committing to paper is done quickly enough, for everything is, as I said before, already finished and rarely differs on paper from what it was in my imagination. At this occupation I can therefore suffer myself to be disturbed; for whatever may be going on around me, I write, and even talk, but only of fowls and geese, or of Gretel or Barbel, or some such matters. But what my productions take from my hand, that particular form and style that makes them Mozart’s, and different from the works of other composers, is probably owing to the same cause which renders my nose so large, aquiline, or in short makes it Mozart’s, and different from those of other people. For I don’t study or aim at any originality...”

Common Bond ~ 17th November 2006

Having suffered their slings and arrows myself, I'm always overjoyed when my positive brothers and sisters humiliate their negative detractors! I'm no Bond fanatic, but I've been quietly rooting for Daniel Craig ever since I heard an entire community had formed around protesting his appointment. It comes as no surprise to me that his version has gone on to become the most critically acclaimed and commercially successful yet, but it's welcome news nonetheless. It's up there with George Lucas laughing all the way to the bank with another billion dollars from the Star Wars prequels, while his geeky detractors fail to enjoy some of the best action movies of the decade. Ditto with Tom Cruise, who scored his most commercially successful film in 2005 with War Of The Worlds - despite an army of naysayers who have been praying for his star to decline for the past 20 years. And don't even get me started on those that complain The Simpsons "isn't as funny as it used to be"! For those incapable of achieving anything themselves, seeing somebody else fail is the only scrap of joy that their self-esteem can muster. And if it doesn't happen naturally, they'll engineer it. And if it still doesn't happen, they'll convince themselves that it has anyway. Anything to block out the light that illuminates their darkness! It's the deeply flawed philosophy of dragging people down instead of trying to overtake them - "intimidation versus inspiration", as I've often put it in my own writing. One philosophy creates, the other destroys. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out which is the winning team! Or as the Prophet Muhammad might say:

"Is he who creates the same as one who creates not? Will you not then take heed?"
- Koran (Surah Of The Bee, 17)

And The Loser Is... ~ 9th November 2006

Ever since gaming found itself looming large over popular culture at the turn of the 21st century, the industry has been desperate to seal the deal with an award ceremony of Oscar proportions. Many have tried and failed - not least the truly dire "Game Stars" event, which forced its embarrassed host to peer out from behind a giant plastic gamepad (and then proceeded to reward the game characters themselves instead of the humans that made them?!). Following that risible attempt, BAFTA's back to basics approach would appear to be a step in the right direction. The glitterati of the industry suited and booted in a finely decorated hall ensured that the "credibility" box was ticked, and my hopes were high as I sat down to watch the televised broadcast. However, it wasn't long before the event regressed into yet another counterproductive spasm of insecurity. Opening quips about "gaming no longer being for geeks" struck the wrong note (if it were true, it would go without saying). Meanwhile, the seemingly endless parade of Z-list celebrities feigning interest in gaming was unforgivable. As if it wasn't obvious enough, one dizzy blonde openly admitted that she was just there for the cheque! It was the most regrettable example yet of what I've called the industry's "inferiority complex" - whereby we'll look up to ANY celebrity from ANY sphere of entertainment before we even think about crowning our own. Of course, the irony is that these "celebrities" were presiding over game designers that entertain more people and earn more money than they ever will! Speaking of which, the event's 3rd strike was that the recipients of practically every award had their acceptance speeches cut (few were even lucky enough to make it to the podium before the camera lost interest). We all know that game developers aren't the most charismatic people in the world, but why award them at all if their thoughts aren't worth airing? If we must have a ceremony, let's at least raise the profile of the men and women that have provided its backbone! But, of course, that's the problem - the games industry has no backbone. The victims of each disrespectful episode smiled bashfully at the celebrity assigned to forget the name of their game, and neglected to use the platform to say anything more stirring than "thanks". If only there was an independent category...

An Inconvenient Truth ~ 29th October 2006

You, my friends, are the most talked about fans in independent game development - and have been the cause of countless wars over the years! In my bio, it says that my work "intimidates and inspires in equal measure". If you've ever wondered what that refers to, the latest witch-hunt at the Blitz forums is a fine example. As one of the few independent game developers that has found an audience in the outside world, my work has always baffled those that I left behind. The games you and I play don't appeal to their elitist "retro" tastes, and yet they can't ignore the guy that's getting the most hits, shifting the most units, and taking up the most column inches. A gut-wrenching dichotomy ensues whereby one of us has to be right and the other has to be wrong, and they duly proceed to convince themselves that I'm the bad guy in the equation (for more about this trend see A Book By Its Cover and Perception Is Everything). Of the many lines of attack they could have chosen, the most bizarre one this time is the quality of my graphics?! As independents, we're all trying to make a little go a long way. Quite when they started making state-of-the-art games for next generation consoles, I can't be sure. Best not to read too much into it though - a negative mind seldom makes sense when squirming for survival. Speaking of which, one of the most disappointing charges is that I'm a nasty piece of work with a "bad attitude". Yes, the guy you know as the nicest to ever sit in front of computer is actually a "baddie" in their world! All because I've got the audacity to take pride in my work and carry myself with confidence (again, these are all negative qualities to an insecure mind). I say it's "disappointing" because my rather forceful attitude has always been on behalf of the whole independent scene. As I said in a recent interview, it's my ambition to establish independent game development as a viable option - and one which is open to everybody. Revolution doesn't come quietly, and I don't apologize for beckoning it on with bold language. As I say in my bio, "I'm breaking down the walls that secure some yet block others". No, I'm NOT like the average game developer - and that's always going to threaten those that prayed a normal guy would never infiltrate this profession. But perhaps a new breed of game developer is just what the industry needs to push it forward? The future of an art form lies in people - not technology. They better get used to it because it's only a matter of time before we take over...

Still Rivers Run Deep ~ 30th September 2006

Like a lot of gamers, I was unusually shy as a child. I still have my quiet moments to this day, but rather more by choice. Ever since I formed a perfect triangle between mind, body, and soul at the age of 21, I've forgotten what insecurity feels like! In case any of you have your anti-social moments, I thought I might offer some words of wisdom on the timeless war between extroverts and introverts. Lest we forget, the extrovert would have you believe that he's somehow "better" than you. You know the type. He bursts into a room with meaningless words spilling out of his manic face, before looking at you with despair - as if to say, "don't you wish you were as lively as me?". If you look at it scientifically, you certainly SHOULDN'T be wishing you were like him! It's thought that the extrovert mind is incapable of taking in stimuli from the outside world (they're literally "ignorant"!). In order to compensate, they have to turn the volume up on what little information they take in - and possibly even create dramas out thin air. Meanwhile, the introvert mind is clocking everything in the room like a 3.0gHz processor and may actually be overdosing on stimuli. In order to cope, they have to tone down the volume and withdraw from any more sources of drama. Neither extreme is particularly desirable, but you can take faith in the fact that quiet people are actually too intelligent for their own good! Indeed, some Native American cultures consider the quiet man to be the greatest of all men - because he judges himself infinitely and not once does he judge others. You can trust him because he never lies, and he's thought to be strong because he doesn't burden others with his problems. The Buddha offered similar sentiments about still rivers running deep, and rocks enduring the wind and rain with a steady stance. The next time you lock horns with a boisterous oppressor, strike a glass and hear the wisdom - the emptiest vessels make the most noise... 

X Marks The Spot ~ 29th August 2006

As anybody remotely familiar with independent game development will know, Microsoft are hoping to seduce the most creative scene in the world with an indy-friendly regime on their X-Box 360 console! Going by the name of XNA, this reasonably priced box of tricks promises to bring console game development to the bedroom coder. A lot of you have been asking whether or not my work falls into that category, so I thought I'd release my initial thoughts. The first thing to point out is that no matter how "simple" it purports to be, it'll still be a far cry from what I'm doing now (I.e. C++ instead of BASIC) and will take a substantially longer time to master. However, if the brains behind Blitz 3D and Dark BASIC join the list of contributors hoping to simplify the process, anything could be possible once the system has settled in next year. In the meantime, there are far more pressing matters to contend with. The inevitable Microsoft small-print has caused much confusion about what would happen to a game even it were successfully made. Initial restrictions seem to suggest that the games will only be playable amongst fellow developers, which cuts YOU out of the equation! And even if distribution did become more viable in the months that follow, Microsoft's hands would be all over it - imposing numerous creative and financial limitations. Cynics would be forgiven for asserting that Microsoft are solely intent on monopolizing what is quickly becoming the most exciting area of game development - making sure they have a stranglehold over it as it matures in their hands. Personally, I applaud them for so much as taking an interest and I'm inspired by the fact that they see a future in the scene. It means I've got one too! I'll be observing their efforts closely and if XNA blossoms into something I can work with, we might just be onto something. If they make the tools, I'll knock the walls down...

Thin Line Between Love And Hate ~ 24th August 2006

Following the good work at the MPire Mall, this post was supposed to herald a new era of unprecedented co-operation between myself and the fan community. Instead, I must once again reassess my position on outside forces. Upon embracing the benefits of high resolution textures in my own work on World War Alpha, I now stand accused of "stealing" the gimmick. While it's true that the mods inspired me to step up my game, it's downright laughable to imply anything more. Primarily because "putting more effort into your work" is plain common sense - not a copyrighted philosophy! And secondly, because many of the techniques had already been slowly evolving in my own work. I've always been aware of the benefits of high resolution textures, and the only reason I steered clear was because I didn't (and still don't) feel it was practical for a project that uses HUNDREDS of them! As a developer and a publisher, efficiency has to outrank spectacle in almost all of my decisions. If you must know, it's the high resolution scenery of Grass Roots that thawed me to the idea. As for alpha-mapped hair, grab the 2001 original of Big BumpZ to see how "revolutionary" that technique is! It's only workable today because of my improved programming skills and in-game resource management. I appreciate that the editors (and their followers) are very proud and protective of their efforts, but now is not the time to be biting the hand that feeds you. Yes, your artistic skills surpass my own. Congratulations, join the club! There are thousands of better artists than me. Thousands of better programmers and musicians too. As for those that combine all of the above (and then some) without breaking a sweat? There's only one. And he's not the "weakest link" in the Wrestling Encore project, he's the ONLY link! With that in mind, I'm now forced to reconsider my planned support for fan content. On one hand, I feel duty-bound to encourage those that squeeze the best out of my creation. On the other, why the hell would anybody promote something that rails against them?! Dozens of fansites have vanished into thin air for falling into the latter category. Calm down, take it as a compliment that you've inspired change in my work, and make sure you're part of the future instead of the past...

A Book By Its Cover ~ 31st July 2006

As the saying suggests, "judging a book by its cover" is supposed to be so laughably ignorant that nobody actually does it. However, I seem to have experienced nothing but for the past 6 months. Apparently, I'm a "Thatcherite" because I chose to educate myself about the government that presided over my childhood. I'm a "born again Christian" because I happen to be fascinated by a Jewish philosopher that existed 2'000 years ago (incidentally, I'm also a Buddhist, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, Scientologist for similar reasons!). I'm supposedly "gay" because I happen to think Tom Cruise is a good role model and Michael Jackson is/was a creative genius. You can be sure that I'm a "geek" because I happen to use a computer to make a living, and yet I'm a "thug" because you can see muscle in my arms when the summer calls for a t-shirt. Lest we forget, I'm also a "pussy" because I donated the proceeds of Wrecked to animal welfare (the irony being that cruelty to defenceless animals is the height of cowardice!). These may sound like trivial misjudgements, but they're actually indicative of something more sinister - an undeclared war between the ignorant and the enlightened. If you're caught reading a book, you HAVE to be a victim of brainwashing - otherwise those that don't read will have to admit that they're not intelligent. If you seem to be fit, there HAS to be a unsavoury explanation for it - otherwise those that aren't will have to admit that they're weak. And if you're successful, there HAS to be foul play - otherwise those that aren't will have to acknowledge their mistakes. At all times, when a man criticizes others he's really criticizing himself...

Perception Is Everything ~ 24th July 2006

When I first got a Nintendo 64 is the mid-90's, I couldn't help imagining what would happen if that calibre of gaming was released in the mid-80's. What if a big, playable 3D epic like Super Mario 64 was suddenly sitting next to Pong and Space Invaders on your Atari 2600? Would players and journalists be united in proclaiming it the greatest game ever made, showering it with 100% and 10/10 reviews? Would it perhaps transcend gaming and be hailed by the whole world as an unbridled work of genius? Rather prophetically, I am now living out those thoughts in my own career a decade later. As an independent game developer, my work moves in the same circles as a plethora of more primitive games. Simply take a glance at the showcases of Blitz BASIC, Coder's Workshop, GameDev.net, or even Download.com, and you'll find mine listed alongside countless games that wouldn't have looked out of place in the 80's. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a very real example of the Nintendo 64 analogy. So what's the answer? Do my sophisticated 3D exploits glide effortlessly to the top of the class and into the hearts of my peers? The answer is a resounding no. With the possible exception of Download.com, my contributions get fewer reads, fewer downloads, and fewer positive comments than the Asteroids clone next-door. Fortunately, the outside world disagrees - so let's not turn this into a sob story! But isn't it interesting how work of such superiority can be met with such apathy? In fact, therein lies the answer. There is such a thing as being over-qualified. The more you're expected to succeed, the more fun negative individuals can have by going against the grain! If Super Mario 64 was released 20 years ago, it would no doubt inspire an entire movement that was bent on its destruction. Never underestimate what a human being will do to preserve its self-esteem and dramatize its insecurities...

Introduction For The Interactive Generation ~ 24th July 2006

Hundreds of Features and Backstage articles have never seen the light of day because the points I wanted to make barely warranted more than a paragraph (or I didn't have time to write the rest even if they did!). To address the issue, I've decided to start a bite-size "Commentary" section which will serve as a dumping ground for random thoughts about the site and games. Quite what will end up in here over the following months even I can't be sure, but it should be an interesting read for those that want to find out even more about my work...