A Note About New Year's ~ 31st December 2007
In case you've been looking
forward to my annual double-bill of an end-of-year retrospective and a new year
forecast, I must confess that neither are on the way. Chiefly because I'm buried
in work on the current project, but also because 2007 wasn't a particularly
eventful year to write about - dominated as it was by 2 projects that took a
long time to materialize. Instead I suspect I'll cover 2007 at the end of 2008 -
when it will indeed be "history" and I'll have had time to put each development
into some sort of context. As for what lies ahead, we all know a booking
instalment of this new wrestling game will take us through the first half of the
year - and it's practically guaranteed that a remake of Popscene will
follow shortly afterwards. Innovation should have resumed by the end of 2008,
and that's when there really will be a lot to talk about! Christ, it feels like
2008 is over before it has even begun...
The Iceman Thaws ~ 16th December 2007
Ever
since Wrestling Encore got overlooked for honours in late 2005, I've been
known to become somewhat indignant when the Independent Games Festival
rolls around. I'd curse their penchant for camp 2D games and claim that the show
would be all the poorer for my not being there. However,
this year's
entries have finally opened my eyes to what the event is trying achieve
- and I can thoroughly understand why a half-baked wrestling game doesn't fit
into their plans. The pick of the bunch,
Crayon
Physics Deluxe - which brings your pen drawings to life as animated
2D objects - is such a breathtaking contribution that it transcends gaming
entirely and stands as an extraordinary feat of programming (unless I'm missing
something here; how does he make it look so easy?). A similarly creative effort
is Goo!,
which gives the classic Snake/Quix concept a visually stunning twist -
complete with a unique (if perhaps overreaching) menu system to match. What
really sells it to me though is the trailer's reference to a classic Bruce Lee
philosophy that I myself advocate! I'm not entirely sure the game warrants it
though. Meanwhile, even the cinematic side of things is represented by
The Path
- an eerie looking horror concept that promises plenty of sinister gameplay
twists. It's not dissimilar to several horror concepts I've been toying with
myself, so it'll be interesting to see how they make it work. For years, as you
know, I've considered my work the only independent produce worth getting excited
about - but it seems the scene is finally evolving into something I can
whole-heartedly endorse and support. Quite frankly, I'll need to raise my game
if I'm to remain a part of it as we head into 2008! Although Wrestling MPire
2008's destiny as the biggest independent game of all time is
assured, it's also destined to be dismissed as "just another wrestling game" -
especially by those who aren't fans of the sport. That's why I'll still have my
doubts about entering it in the 2008/2009 contest. It seems there's much work to be done
on the genre-bending, creative side of my act - and you can rest assured I've
got at least one trick up my sleeve there! In the meantime, if you're new to the
unbridled creativity of the independent scene, you can gorge yourself on this
compilation of IGF entries available at
Amazon.com
and stores throughout North America. I myself am a small part of that project.
You can find Wrestling Encore on
Volume 2.0, but it's perhaps the last
game you'll want to load up. Now who'd have thought you'd ever hear me
say that?
Disrespect Your Elders ~ 19th November 2007
Those
that compare my wrestling games unfavourably with THQ's N64 classics
would do well to load them up on an
emulator
now. If, like me, you look back on them as the ultimate interpretation of
your favourite sport, you may be surprised to find that the modelling is shakier
than anything I would dare put out and the texturing is of such a poor quality
that you can see every individual pixel! Even the animation, which is what I've
always aspired to, has its patchy moments. And the less said about the garish
presentation the better. This time in 2001 I was playing these games
religiously. Now, just a few years later, I can scarcely believe that I'm
single-handedly making a product that looks better and offers more. It's
practically sacrilege for me to countenance such a thought! It's certainly an
encouraging one though, and makes me feel good about my career as we head into
2008 trying to wake people up to what's being achieved here. That said, I have
enjoyed using an emulation of WWF No Mercy as a reference tool. I run the
game's comprehensive editor (they got me there!) in the background while working
on my own animations in 3D Studio MAX, and frequently check back to see
how they've approached certain moves. It was key to figuring out what was wrong
with my Powerbomb, and will no doubt assist in countless other moves. It'll even
expand the range by reminding me which ones are missing! I'll never make them
all, but once we're up to speed with Wrestling Encore I'll come back to
see which other animations are worth adding. The same is true of the costume
possibilities, which are a handy reminder of what should be in my game and how
they might best be drawn. Studying the way black is portrayed has already
produced some nice leather trousers and a more detailed range of wrestling
trunks. All in all, nothing will be worse than it was in this game and an awful
lot of things will be better. I may be burying WWF No Mercy, but it's
death won't be in vain...
Bring On The Backlash ~ 11th October 2007
When
you're one of the most talked about game developers on the net, trying to stay
out of arguments is practically a fulltime job! However, every so often there's
a thread of discussion so inflammatory that you have to address it - lest it
snowball into something that people actually give credence to. A good case in
point is a
recent post from our disillusioned friends at the MPire Mall. It
lists every self-deprecating remark I've made about Wrestling MPire 2008's
progress - not as an example of my unparalleled candour, but as a means of
arguing that I'm a floundering has-been who's mishandling the project. Every
innocent admission of this or that being "scarcely better than in Wrestling
Encore" is seized upon as proof that the project is doomed already,
culminating in accusations of "laziness" of all things (so that's why I'm
spending 12 hours a day doing something so difficult that no other human is
capable of it!). They say a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing, and
that's exactly what we have here. Modders get to changing the appearance of my
games and soon consider themselves to be my equals - or, dare I say it, my
superiors. "We've got the graphical side of things down, so how hard can it be
to go that extra distance and make a better game than this prick?" Try hundreds
of thousands of mathematical calculations - any one of which would give you
sleepless nights. Instead of nibbling on this or that, try churning out tens of
thousands of frames of animation and hundreds upon hundreds of textures and
graphics. And be sure to save room for the finest art of them all - design -
which demands that you tie all of the above together in a manner that actually
works. In any creative endeavour, there are valid reasons behind every decision
being made and every course of action being taken. Diving into the water will
give you a crash-course in what those reasons are. I've tried to explain them in
my brutally honest news reports, but evidently that's not good enough for you.
Talk about "going it alone" - I'm even making the biggest game of my
career without the support of my fans! I'm Michelangelo painting the Sistine
Chapel, and all you're doing is shaking my ladder and complaining that I'm using
the same brush as last time. Wait for the finished article and you might just
find that the brush works wonders. I may malfunction from time to time, but even
a broken clock is right at least two times a day. I've already hit the spot once
in my career. Are you sure you don't want to stick around for the afternoon
showing?
Act Of Integrity ~ 3rd October 2007
It's
not easy being a man of integrity. Like some sort of superhero, you have to be
prepared to do battle with injustice wherever you see it. This particular
adventure begins with the unlikely scenario of me embarking on an acting class -
for no other reason than I enjoyed it at school and felt it might be a skill
worth exploring as games and movies grow closer together. Hey, if you know
you're capable of anything, why not? However, I had forgotten what it's like to
sit before an insecure teacher and their flock of
servile sheep. This one had the knives out for me from the start - beginning,
rather predictably, with a stab at my name. She found the name "Dickie"
objectionable
and implied that I might like to change it for the sake of my career. "Not a
chance", I retorted, pointing out that it was unique and memorable (a journalist
I haven't had contact with in over 5 years instantly remembered who I was for
that very reason). Besides, I wear it as a battle scar that states you can give
me the most ridiculous name possible and I'll still make people respect it. She
should have been paying ME for this wisdom! Realizing that my mind wasn't up for
grabs, she then moved onto the physical and demanded to know why I was sitting
in a "confrontational manner". This, I discovered, meant having good posture and
holding your head high. I cautioned her that it was a side effect of being fit
and confident, and refused to apologize for it. "Why is physical strength
important to you?", she pressed, "Were you bullied at school?". "No, I bully
bullies", I offered, "That's why I'm standing up to you". We could have made a
movie right there with such classic lines! She wasn't impressed though, and
pointed out that of all the people in the class I was the only one that had a
problem with her. Trying to make MDickie feel bad about being "the odd
one out"? The poor bitch didn't know that I could write a book on why that's a
GOOD thing! I submitted that I was the only one with the courage and honesty to
say what I was really thinking, and again refused to apologize for it. On the
contrary, I took it as an enormous compliment. Any fool can sit there
nodding their head and smiling politely if it gets them through the next 10
minutes without incident. Clutching at straws, the poor woman then claimed that
"I need her more than she needs me". Again, I had to disagree and asserted that
I don't need anyone for anything. She misunderstood my words spectacularly, as
weak opponents often do, and dismissed me as a soulless robot who doesn't HAVE
anyone or anything. I countered that divorcing yourself from "need" is actually
the height of humanity and elevates you to a place of CHOICE - where you can in
fact "have" anything you want. Since psychoanalysis was the order of the day, I
then submitted that her thoughts turned to a "robot" because she wished I was
one - and was rather annoyed that I had too much character to be controlled by
her! And with that I stormed out of her pitiful class, which hadn't touched upon
"acting" in its entire 3-hour length. It seems that skill, like every other, is
one that I'll have to master on my own - free from the clutches of embittered
has-beens who don't know what they're talking about...
Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants ~ 12th August 2007
As the entertainment industry stands in awe of the fact that Halo 3 has
clocked up some 4 million sales in pre-orders alone, I'm not entirely sure what
I - and my fellow independent game developers - am supposed to make of it. On
one hand there's the vicarious pride of it being MY profession that's got both
music and film running scared. Like a mistreated younger sibling, it has
survived decades of mockery from its older brother and sister only to outgrow
them in spectacular style! And from this lofty perch, game developers of all
kinds should be salivating at the thought of being similarly successful. So why
is it that I'm always thoroughly depressed to see gaming reach these dizzying
heights? If I'm being honest, it's because I wasn't the one to take it there -
and never will be. I've often fancied myself as gaming's J. K. Rowling,
who single-handedly stumbles upon that one creation that captivates millions of
people. Now that the honour has gone to a more deserving 200-strong team of
pros, I - along with everybody else - must sit back and applaud the winner.
However, delusions of grandeur aside, there's a far more legitimate reason to be
concerned. Chiefly the fact that this newfound exposure and popularity isn't
filtering down to the independent level. With so many hundreds of millions of
people owning PC's and playing games, I find it increasingly frustrating that
they're difficult to reach in any great quantity - and that's coming from
someone who enjoys 6-figure audiences at Download.com! The 100'000 hits
clocked up by Wrestling MPire and Wrestling Encore are just freak
results connected to the popularity of wrestling though, and don't reflect the
popularity of independent games in general (just ask the technically superior
Reach as it struggles to surpass the 1'000 mark). When mainstream games
come waving millions of pre-orders in your face, it feels more like "game over"
than "game on". I've always set myself against the mainstream, preaching that my
independent methods would fill its gaping holes and reign in its wild excesses.
Given that the masses don't seem to share my disdain for faceless corporations
and $50 price tags, it seems I must figure out a way of co-existing with the
giants - and perhaps become more like them. Microsoft themselves extend
this olive branch in the form of XNA and the lure of worldwide fame on
their X-Box Live distribution channel. If my lofty ambitions are to stand
a chance of being realized, I might just have to join the winning team...
"Oh, my foolish soul! The darkness of the
grave is thy lot.
Do not be greedy for the light..."
- Kahlil Gibran
The Name Game ~ 18th July 2007
As
the first updates about the new wrestling project start to trickle in, you may
wonder why I haven't been referring to it by any particular name. It's with some
amusement that I've seen people christen it "Wrestling Revolution" - since an
article of that name foretold the project's coming earlier in the year. That was
merely a headline and won't necessarily be the name of the game. Although that
perfectly adequate title did cross my mind, I'd rather not burden the series
with a parade of increasingly cryptic identities. I've learnt my lesson from
Wrestling Encore - which was neither an "encore" nor a "masterpiece"! On the
contrary, it's my intention to go back to basics by reinstating the original
"Wrestling MPire" title - with the affix of "2008" to signify its vintage (as
many other long-running sports sims have resigned themselves to doing). Then we
can all relax and let the series run for as long as it wants without any
pre-conceived notions about what it should or shouldn't be. A consistent brand
should also prevent confusion on listing sites such as Download.com,
where Wrestling Encore struggled to assert itself as the sequel to the
6-figure golden child that was Wrestling MPire. This way the succession
should be clear enough for casual fans to worship at the right altar! Quite
how all this affects the inevitable booking instalments has yet to be decided.
It's well documented that I feel Federation Booker, Booking MPire
and Booking Encore are stains on what would otherwise be a decent legacy of game
titles. Diehard wrestling fans may get the message, but the notion of "booking"
is downright confusing to the initiated or when taken out of context. Again,
casual visitors to the list sites certainly didn't know it was a worthy
companion to the wrestling games - as evidenced by the relatively miniscule hit
rates. To rectify the situation, I may have to refer to the instalments as
"editions" - such as Wrestling MPire 2008: Career Edition and
Wrestling MPire 2008: Management Edition. For a guy that likes snappy
titles, those longwinded explanations are tantamount to self-abuse though! You
tell me. These things are never set in stone until there's a logo, so let me
know if this is the best step forward for my best game yet or simply a lot of
fuss over nothing...
The Swan Dive ~ 10th July 2007
As a wrestling fan and a purveyor
of games about it, many of you have wondered why I allowed the horrific events
surrounding Chris Benoit's death to go unmentioned. The simple answer is that I,
like everybody else, didn't know quite what to make of it. When a wrestler dies
(even by their own hand) we instinctively eulogize about their career and bid
them a fond farewell. But what to make of somebody that took a wife and child
with him? Do we mourn a legend or spurn a murderer? Unfortunately, the answer
isn't as black & white as the newspaper ink the gushes forth on the matter. It
may be easy to dismiss Benoit as a drug-fuelled butcher, but the weakest links
are the easiest to make - and you'll never find me taking that road! Rather, I'd
like to revert to something I wrote in these commentaries several weeks ago
about "the need to feel special". We observed that it's this need that "brings
out the best in us, yet the worst in us" - and those words could hardly be more
poignant than in the aftermath of a wrestling superstar that found himself at
the darkest depths of human behaviour. Benoit's "need to feel special" served
him well for a great many years. It drove him to every training session at Stu
Hart's Dungeon, and steered him through every quality performance on either side
of the Pacific Ocean - eventually culminating in the highest accolade of them
all: a WWE title run. But, evidently, it also took its toll. The demands
of a life on the road left pots boiling over at home, and the need to hang with
the big boys brought that needle to his arm one too many times. The candle was
burning at both ends, to say the least, and it inevitably expired on that
fateful weekend when killing all involved seemed to make sense. I don't believe
that anybody is inherently evil. Nor do I believe that anybody dies in vain. The
Benoit family invited the world's media upon them as a damning indictment of how
self-destructive the wrestling business has become, and their fate serves as a
stark warning to those that would jump through such hoops or ask others to do
so. A better path awaits, and the tombs of these wrestlers are erected as walls
that might guide us along it. It's a route whereby Owen Hart wrestles instead of
performing stunts, where Eddie Guerrero can be his athletic self instead
of a bodybuilder, and where Chris Benoit's time at home is something to
live for rather than die for...
"When a member of society falls down, he falls
for those behind him - as a
caution against the stumbling stone. And he falls for those ahead of him - who,
though faster and surer of foot, failed to remove the stone..."
- Kahlil Gibran
Platform Games ~ 6th July 2007
Just
as Reach ushers in a new era of quality and ensures my work will remain
relevant for a long time yet, it seems a whole other obstacle has emerged to
hold things back. I am, of course, talking about the fact that hardly anybody
can get the damn games to work now that Windows Vista has brought yet
more confusion to the PC platform! It's bad enough that every single PC is
different (not least in the way it's managed by its user) and can find a million
reasons to take exception to even the most expertly crafted program. Hell, I
cling to Blitz 3D for its simplicity (all that's required is DirectX) - but even that can't sail through the choppy seas of the PC
platform without incident. And when the complaints land on my doorstep, it's
hard to know what to say. The game works perfectly for me, and him, and her... I
can't even begin to imagine why it isn't working for you! It's not an issue of
abandoning Blitz to "stay ahead with the times" with the latest tools
such as Microsoft's own XNA. That's so fussy that I couldn't even
get the application to work on my laptop - let alone the games that it spews
out! And before you accuse me of being a clueless independent novice, this is a
problem that even the mightiest of mainstream developers can't tackle. Of the
past dozen or so professional games I've been tempted to buy, precisely ONE of
them worked on my state-of-the-art workstation (Civilization 3 if you're
interested). One wonders how PC developers make a living against such odds, and
the answer is that they probably don't! If my humble games (which are designed
to work for as many people as possible) continue to get caught up in the storm
then I'll no doubt share their fate. I don't wish to dwell on that negative
prospect though, and bring it up only as a challenge that we might enjoy
conquering. In the meantime, please exercise a little common sense as players
and refrain from buying the games - any game - before you know it works for you.
That's what the numerous demos and trials are for. No matter how excited you are
about a release or how much you wish to support my work, it doesn't help anybody
to step onto this minefield with your eyes closed...
The Secret ~ 3rd June 2007
If
I have one hobby, it's the dogged pursuit of new challenges and skills with
which to meet those challenges. When that's the case, achievements that mean
nothing to you tend to be awe-inspiring to others. When a family member notices
that you're suddenly capable of playing a musical instrument, their eyes light
up and they ask what the secret is. When friends notice that your level of
fitness has exploded, their eyes light up and they ask what the secret is. And
when strangers realize what you do for a living, you best believe their eyes
light up and they ask what the secret is! Their eyes "light up" because they see
you as a fast-track to achieving those things themselves. It's normally
difficult, but this guy will help me make it happen overnight! They're
invariably disappointed to find that the "secret" is that there is no secret. Do
you understand what I just said? The belief that there is a secret is what holds
people back from doing something in the first place. They give it an almost mythical
status that would require a miracle, and thus convince themselves that it isn't
even worth trying - when the unpalatable truth is that it's only a few weeks of
hard work away. You know how to play the piano. You sit in front of a mess of
keys and play feeble tunes until you progress to a good one! You know how to
make games. You sit in front of another mess of keys and give yourself a
headache staring at code until it makes sense. And you definitely know how to
improve your body. See that thing over there that weighs more than you? Pick it
up! It really is as simple as that, but you'll never know as long as you run
around in circles looking for a quick fix. There isn't one, and even if there
was it would only be temporarily effective. It's what Bruce Lee referred to as
having "no way as way" and "no form as form". When you cling to one belief about
something or one method of doing it, then you instantly lose all the others -
one of which might just be what you're looking for. And as the Master Jesus
taught, when that belief doesn't include yourself it's all for nought. While
people marvelled at him, he marvelled at why they marvel at him - knowing full
well that they were capable of doing it themselves! The minute they subjugated
themselves to him, they instantly lost that innate power and doomed themselves
to be floundering followers rather than masters of their own destiny. Hell, even
Nike stumbled across this wisdom when they were trying to sell you a pair
of shoes. The next time you see someone achieving something and you want to know
"what the secret is", just do it...
The Ego Has Landed ~ 20th May 2007
Game
Shark's independent gaming newsletter recently shone its spotlight
on me and rather perceptively observed that the listing of my name countless
times in the credits is either an act of immense egotism or a reflection of
undoubtedly hard work. Happily, they plumped for the latter - but it got me
thinking about the many people that may have swung the other way. Of all the
criticisms levelled at my work, the notion that I'm somehow an "arrogant" force
of evil is the one that disappoints me the most. Chiefly because, as anyone
who's ever received an e-mail response from me will know, it's simply not true.
An arrogant message is that I am great AND YOU ARE NOT, whereas my message has
always been that I am indeed great AND SO ARE YOU! Confidence, pride and
optimism are mine to be sprinkled over my achievements as I see fit. Whether you
inherit that positivity or allow your insecurity to perceive it as a threat is
entirely up to you. And there, in a nutshell, lies the reason that my attitude
divides so many people. When your mind is clouded by negativity then positivity
becomes a dirty word - a bright light to be avoided or a dragon to be slain. The
irony is that those who question my attitude so fiercely are quick to display a
bad one themselves - such as the witch-hunts that regularly pepper the
Blitz forums. Which is truly the most "arrogant" - to take an
inordinate amount of pride in your own achievements or to mercilessly criticize
others when you scarcely have the authority to do so? The answer speaks for
itself, and its volume grows louder with altruistic posts such as these that
cannot be found in the empty chambers of my critics. That said, their
accusations aren't entirely unsubstantiated. I was once enslaved by my ego. When
you wake up one morning and find thousands of e-mails praising a game you've made
or you see your name in print time and time again, it does something to you. You go from being
nothing to something and you're not sure how to play the role. You call on it to
elevate yourself above others while subjugating anyone who would dare be your
enemy. Then, ideally, you accept that with great power comes great
responsibility and you reverse the situation. You realize that anybody else in
your shoes would act the same way, which ironically means you cease to be
"special"! The truly special are those that have the most to brag about and
choose to do so the least. As Janet Jackson once said, "we all have the need to
feel special - and it's this need that brings out the best in us yet the worst
in us". In my case, we've already seen the worst. Let's look ahead to the
best... or is that an arrogant thing to say?
Final Fantasy ~ 29th April 2007
Don't you love it when two
separate passions dovetail to compliment one another? Having learnt to read and
play music to a decent level, I've spent the past few months trawling the Internet
for popular tunes to add to my repertoire - and recently found myself staring at
the sheet music for all those classic
Super Nintendo
games that occupied my gaming days! Simply hearing the quaint Japanese
music of Secret Of Mana and co again is enough to send a nostalgic shiver
down your spine, but to suddenly be able to PLAY them too is especially poignant.
It's as though I once had my nose pressed up against the windows of a building,
and have now been given the keys to roam around inside. It's the same feeling I
get as my fitness regime takes me ever closer to looking (and feeling) like the
wrestlers I admired so much when I was younger. I once wondered what it must be
like to stroll through life with such a muscular frame, and now my only problem
is finding clothes to fit! So too with the creative comradery that comes with
celebrity itself. One minute they're untouchable characters on a screen, the
next you're
fielding phone calls and e-mails from members of their inner circle.
Speaking of which, one minute you're a boy delivering newspapers, the next you ARE the news
in that paper. One minute you're reading articles in gaming magazines, the next
you're the one
writing them. And lest we forget, one minute you're playing games and
the next you're making the damn things! Whether your goals are physical or
professional, I can assure you that the realm of fantasy eventually becomes
reality as years of sincere effort roll by. Incidentally, if anybody else
happens to be learning to play an instrument, I can't recommend
MusicNotes.com
enough - as both a source of sheet music itself and a program for interacting
with it...
Six-Figure Celebrations! ~ 9th April 2007
How fitting that on
this weekend of "resurrections" one of my long buried projects should rise from
the dead to shine again! As of today, the original Wrestling MPire
has been downloaded over 100'000 times from
Download.com alone - and Wrestling Encore is on course to
beat it with 70'000 downloads despite being available half as long. That may not
sound like much at a point in time when 50 Cent can sell a million copies
of an album in a week, but it's not bad for just ONE of many sites that the game
is listed at. Especially since my core fanbase already have the games by the
time they've been posted elsewhere, so these are almost entirely new fans and
don't even hint at the true number of people playing! The series certainly ranks
among the most popular independent releases of recent times, and reigns supreme
within its genre - second only to the mainstream antics of WWE and co.
More impressively, it has even managed to cling onto a record of near-perfect
reviews under that intense scrutiny.
Considering these games are mere "beta" versions compared to what's coming later
this year, it's mind-boggling to ponder how high the new games might reach! Who
knows, in a couple of years time we might be celebrating joining that elite
7-figure club...
If It Ain't Broke... ~ 6th April 2007
At
what point does the mantra of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" turn into
laziness? That's not a rhetorical question - it's a real one that I have to ask
myself every day of Reach's production! With this next batch of games I
was hoping to push things forward in every possible respect - from the graphics
and gameplay right down to the presentation. However, upon turning my attention
to the character selection process I find myself recreating the exact same
system from Wrestling Encore... which is the exact same system from
Wrestling MPire... which is the exact same system from Federation Booker
way back in 2003! Seriously, is that laziness or common sense? Is there a better
way to give you access to dozens of characters than that matrix of boxes? Is
there a better place to display the profiles rather than up in the top corners
at either side of the logo? Is there a better layout for that information than
the cluster of multicoloured text we currently have? Hard Time and
Grass Roots did their best to distance themselves from these things and
explore new territory (and I thought the latter in particular did an admirable
job), but they had the luxury of being more simplistic concepts. Here, there's
twice as much information to impart at any one time - so you suddenly find
yourself with fewer options than you'd like. For the sake of the wrestling game
that will follow, be sure to let me know how you feel about this aspect of my
work. Will you be looking forward to breezing through a menu system that you're
familiar with, or would you be discouraged if things still looked and worked
exactly as they did 4 years ago? At this point in my career I'm capable of
creating anything that springs to mind. The question is, is there anything to
create?
A Life Less Ordinary ~ 19th March 2007
This post
was supposed to talk about how you SHOULDN'T follow in my footsteps, but I had
to quickly rewrite it in light of one recent correspondence! After reading my
passionate call to arms in
Develop magazine
some 3 years ago, Peter Stock was inspired to give independent game development
a shot - and now he's making a living from his own project,
Armadillo Run,
which is also up for honours at the Independent Games Festival. In true
MDickie style, he's even diverting profits to charitable causes! You
always hope that your words and actions will have such an effect on people, but
you can never be sure because they don't necessarily get in touch to tell you
so. The only downside is that I'll eventually put myself out of business by
letting thousands of protégés out of their cages to become better than me!
Before anybody else gets ahead of themselves and does just that, I would like to
share my initial thoughts about the pitfalls of independent game development.
Although I make a living from my games, it's by no means a "comfortable" living
- and certainly not a secure one. To become a millionaire, you need to be
reaching millions of people - whereas thousands are all you have to hope for at
this level. I'm only able to make that work for me because, unlike most people,
I don't particularly care about money. I dwell in humble accommodation, I don't
have a family to support, I'm resistant to the allure of materialism, and I'm so
thoroughly self-sufficient that I seldom have to pay anyone to do anything on my
behalf! Meanwhile, on the business side of things, I'm in the unique position of
being able to churn out an extraordinarily high number of projects to an extraordinarily
large audience - while pocketing an extraordinarily high percentage of the
profits. All of which helps to make a little go a very, very long way! My point
is that if you want to do something unusual for a living, you may also have to adopt an equally "unusual" lifestyle.
Not everybody is cut out for that (which is why so many fail), but
it's there for the taking if you choose. Like a superhero costume haunting you
in the closet, a life of personal sacrifice and professional gain awaits if you
simply slip on the mask...
The Enemy Within ~ 16th March 2007
As
a gesture of goodwill in the build up to a new wrestling game, I've decided to
resume promoting the
MPire Mall fansite so that you've got somewhere to exchange ideas
and vent your excitement! Plus, if you can't wait until then for some improved
wrestling action, you can always breathe new life into Wrestling Encore
with the various patches on offer. I understand that a patch that was merely
hinted at 6 months ago has since been fully released, and is even in the process
of being replaced by a another - so feel free to check that out. At this
juncture, I should probably also address a request that has been flooding my
inbox since a new wrestling project was announced. Not content with my own
humble advances with Reach, a lot of you are suggesting that I should
rope in the said editors to help with the workload and create better graphics as
standard. A seductive suggestion but, alas, not a practical one. I cannot stress
enough that everything MDickie.com represents - from the productivity
through to the creativity - is down to me working alone. The minute you rely on
so much as one other person for anything, it all goes out the window and you're
stumbling along like all the other game developers. Trust me, I've turned down
the support of professional 3D artists such is the truth in the above statement!
Merely working underneath a publisher was enough to drive me insane. Plus, I
could do without the inevitable aggravation of squabbling with contributors over
"credit" and "reward". I didn't become the most powerful game developer in the
world (in terms of freedom) to have my actions infringed upon by others. Yes,
I'm sure certain things would look better with the help of dedicated artists
(and my ears prick up at the suggestion of anything that would reduce the
inhumane task of animating hundreds of moves!) - but the motorcycle I'm riding
isn't designed to be burdened by others. It's best that I'm left alone to
release my own game, which is then pounced upon by others as they see fit. As
long as the public have access to either, it needn't be an issue of choice...
Delusions Of Grandeur ~ 16th February 2007
As
yet another new character model strolls onto the scene and redefines the
potential of my work, my thoughts once again turn to the bittersweet chasm
between past and present. From day one, each increasingly sophisticated project
has been responsible for both excitement about the future and sorrow for the
past. I say "sorrow" because, as the developer, each project becomes unplayable
in my eyes once it has been bettered - and must be confined to the history
books! The mighty Wrestling Encore has already been toppled by such
comparisons, and now takes its seat as a spectator to Reach - waiting for
its time to shine again. It's the same feeling I got when Wrestling Encore
itself antiquated the original Wrestling MPire series - as evidenced by
this retrospective
that was dedicated to pointing out the differences. It won't be long before
Wrestling Encore is similarly embarrassed, and Reach after it in lieu
of the games of 2008. It makes me think I was deluded to ever take pride in
those games in the first place, and even more so to do it again with the latest
one - which probably still looks poor to those spoilt by mainstream games! All
the criticism I had once dismissed as "ignorant" suddenly seems understandable,
and even richly deserved. In that case, what's the point? Why bother making
Reach if I'm deluded about its qualities and it'll be old news by this time
next year? The simple answer is that not all delusions are bad! It's in the grip
of the illusion that I find the passion to do what needs to be done. The
insurmountable task of making a game single-handedly is reduced to child's play
when fuelled by blind faith. And if that wasn't the case you could argue that
many important evolutionary steps would have never been taken. If I wasn't "deluded" enough to think that
my early 3D work was good, it never would have lifted us out of the world of
2D. If I wasn't "deluded" enough to think that Wrestling Encore was
worth getting excited about, you'd still be stuck with Wrestling MPire. And now, with its head tilted skyward, Reach merrily
staggers further down that road. No, it won't be the best game ever made - and yes,
its time in the sun will be limited - but it's still part of a process that never
stops spiralling towards perfection. When you like where you are today,
yesterday ceases to be something to regret and tomorrow becomes something to
relish...
Touch The Sky ~ 20th January 2007
Although you wouldn't know it
from this site, my profound belief that anything is possible is seldom limited
to the world of games. Just this winter, I quietly added the ability to juggle
and play the piano to the burgeoning list (although not at the same time I
hasten to add!). The latter, in particular, I had always considered to be as
close to "impossible" as my vocabulary goes. However, after taking the plunge,
it turns out that learning the language of a computer bodes well for learning
the language of music (as does being able to type to the tune of a million words
per second!). I went from not being able to read music at all to playing with
both hands, and banging out some vaguely recognizable tunes, within a week. A
few months later and it won't be long before the skill is put to use in my
games. But I digress. The purpose of this post was to talk more about overcoming
pessimism en route to achieving the impossible. When I preach this message to
people in my daily life, their usual reply is, "What about the disabled? Surely
there's a limit to what they can do?". To them I say, what about Stephen
Hawking? He can barely move a muscle in his body, but still manages to be a
best-selling author and an important contributor to his field. Christopher Reeve
stepped outside of his disability in similar fashion to continue to achieve
great things. The message here is that there's no limit to the heights one might
reach - only the means by which one might do it. No, Stephen Hawking will never
become the heavyweight champion of the world - but his name will still be etched
on the 20th century alongside Muhammad AlI's. Progress in any field, therefore,
becomes about downplaying what you can't do and focusing on what you CAN. In my
article, Inspiration For
The Interactive Generation, I used the example of the bee. Science
says he can't fly, but the living creature says otherwise! He doesn't care what
you think he can and can't do, and just does what feels right. You too must
drown out the pessimistic whinging of the human mind (including your own) if you
wish to touch the sky. It's never a question of "if" something is possible
so much as
a question of "how", and the answer will only present itself once you find the
silence to listen...
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