Music To My Ears ~ 10th December 2006
Since
they're so frighteningly similar to my own, I
thought I'd let Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart share his thoughts on solo creativity this month: "When
I am, as it were, completely myself, entirely alone, and of good cheer – say
traveling in a carriage, or walking after a good meal, or during the night
when I cannot sleep: it is on such occasions that my ideas flow best and most
abundantly. Whence and how they come, I know not; nor can I
force them. Those ideas that please me I keep in my memory, and am accustomed,
as I have been told, to hum them to myself. If I continue in this way, it soon
occurs to me how I may turn this or that morsel to account, so as to make a
good dish of it.
All this inspires my soul, and provided I am not disturbed, my subject
enlarges itself, becomes methodized and defined, and the whole, though it be
long, stands almost complete and finished in my mind, so that I can survey it,
like a fine picture or a beautiful statue, at a glance. Nor do I hear in my
imagination the parts successively, but I hear them, as it were, all at once.
What a delight this is I cannot tell! All this inventing, this producing takes
place in a pleasing lively dream. Still the actual hearing of the tout
ensemble is after all the best. What has been thus produced I do not
easily forget, and this is perhaps the best gift I have my Divine Maker to
thank for.
When I proceed to write down my ideas, I take out of the bag of my memory, if
I may use that phrase, what has been previously collected into it in the way I
have mentioned. For this reason the committing to paper is done quickly
enough, for everything is, as I said before, already finished and rarely
differs on paper from what it was in my imagination. At this occupation I can
therefore suffer myself to be disturbed; for whatever may be going on around
me, I write, and even talk, but only of fowls and geese, or of Gretel or
Barbel, or some such matters. But what my productions take from my hand, that
particular form and style that makes them
Mozart’s, and different from the works of other composers, is probably
owing to the same cause which renders my nose so large, aquiline, or in short
makes it Mozart’s, and different from those of other people. For I don’t study
or aim at any originality...”
Common Bond ~ 17th November 2006
Having suffered their slings and
arrows myself, I'm always overjoyed when my positive brothers and sisters
humiliate their negative detractors! I'm no Bond fanatic, but I've been
quietly rooting for Daniel Craig ever since I heard an entire community had
formed around protesting his appointment. It comes as no surprise to me that his
version has gone on to become the most critically acclaimed and commercially
successful yet, but it's welcome news nonetheless. It's up there with George
Lucas laughing all the way to the bank with another billion dollars from the
Star Wars prequels, while his geeky detractors fail to enjoy some of the
best action movies of the decade. Ditto with Tom Cruise, who scored his most
commercially successful film in 2005 with War Of The Worlds - despite an
army of naysayers who have been praying for his star to decline for the past 20
years. And don't even get me started on those that complain The Simpsons
"isn't as funny as it used to be"! For those incapable of achieving anything
themselves, seeing somebody else fail is the only scrap of joy that their
self-esteem can muster. And if it doesn't happen naturally, they'll engineer it.
And if it still doesn't happen, they'll convince themselves that it has anyway.
Anything to block out the light that illuminates their darkness! It's the deeply flawed philosophy of dragging people
down instead of trying to overtake them - "intimidation versus inspiration", as I've
often put it in my own writing. One philosophy creates, the other destroys. It
shouldn't be that hard to figure out which is the winning team! Or as the
Prophet Muhammad might say:
"Is he who
creates the same as one who creates not? Will you not then take heed?"
- Koran (Surah Of The Bee, 17)
And The Loser Is... ~ 9th November 2006
Ever
since gaming found itself looming large over popular culture at the turn of the
21st century, the industry has been desperate to seal the deal with an award
ceremony of Oscar proportions. Many have tried and failed - not least the
truly dire "Game Stars" event, which forced its embarrassed host to peer out
from behind a giant plastic gamepad (and then proceeded to reward the game
characters themselves instead of the humans that made them?!). Following that
risible attempt,
BAFTA's back to basics approach would appear to be a
step in the right direction. The glitterati of the industry suited and booted in
a finely decorated hall ensured that the "credibility" box was ticked, and my
hopes were high as I sat down to watch the televised broadcast. However, it
wasn't long before the event regressed into yet another counterproductive spasm
of insecurity. Opening quips about "gaming no longer being for geeks" struck the
wrong note (if it were true, it would go without saying). Meanwhile, the
seemingly endless parade of Z-list celebrities feigning interest in gaming was
unforgivable. As if it wasn't obvious enough, one dizzy blonde openly admitted
that she was just there for the cheque! It was the most regrettable example yet
of what I've called the industry's "inferiority complex" - whereby we'll look up
to ANY celebrity from ANY sphere of entertainment before we even think about
crowning our own. Of course, the irony is that these "celebrities" were
presiding over game designers that entertain more people and earn more money
than they ever will! Speaking of which, the event's 3rd strike was that the
recipients of practically every award had their acceptance speeches cut (few
were even lucky enough to make it to the podium before the camera lost
interest). We all know that game developers aren't the most charismatic people
in the world, but why award them at all if their thoughts aren't worth airing?
If we must have a ceremony, let's at least raise the profile of the men and
women that have provided its backbone! But, of course, that's the problem - the
games industry has no backbone. The victims of each disrespectful episode smiled
bashfully at the celebrity assigned to forget the name of their game, and
neglected to use the platform to say anything more stirring than "thanks". If
only there was an independent category...
An Inconvenient Truth ~ 29th October 2006
You,
my friends, are the most talked about fans in independent game development - and
have been the cause of countless wars over the years! In my bio, it
says that my work "intimidates and inspires in equal measure". If you've ever
wondered what that refers to, the latest witch-hunt at the
Blitz
forums is a fine example. As one of the few independent game developers
that has found an audience in the outside world, my work has always baffled
those that I left behind. The games you and I play don't appeal to their elitist
"retro" tastes, and yet they can't ignore the guy that's getting the most hits,
shifting the most units, and taking up the most column inches. A gut-wrenching
dichotomy ensues whereby one of us has to be right and the other has to be
wrong, and they duly proceed to convince themselves that I'm the bad guy in the
equation (for more about this trend see A Book By Its Cover and
Perception Is Everything). Of
the many lines of attack they could have chosen, the most bizarre one this time
is the quality of my graphics?! As independents, we're all trying to make a
little go a long way. Quite when they started making state-of-the-art games for
next generation consoles, I can't be sure. Best not to read too much into it
though - a negative mind seldom makes sense when squirming for survival.
Speaking of which, one of the most disappointing charges is that I'm a nasty
piece of work with a "bad attitude". Yes, the guy you know as the nicest to ever
sit in front of computer is actually a "baddie" in their world! All because I've
got the audacity to take pride in my work and carry myself with confidence
(again, these are all negative qualities to an insecure mind). I say it's
"disappointing" because my rather forceful attitude has always been on behalf of
the whole independent scene. As I said in a
recent interview, it's my
ambition to establish independent game development as a viable option - and one
which is open to everybody. Revolution doesn't come quietly, and I don't
apologize for beckoning it on with bold language. As I say in my bio, "I'm
breaking down the walls that secure some yet block others". No, I'm NOT
like the
average game developer - and that's always going to threaten those that prayed a
normal guy would never infiltrate this profession. But perhaps a new breed of
game developer is just what the industry needs to push it forward? The future of
an art form lies in people - not technology. They better get used to it because
it's only a matter of time before we take over...
Still Rivers Run Deep ~ 30th September 2006
Like a lot of gamers, I was
unusually shy as a child. I still have my quiet moments to this day, but rather
more by choice. Ever since I formed a perfect triangle between mind, body, and
soul at the age of 21, I've forgotten what insecurity feels like! In case any of
you have your anti-social moments, I thought I might offer some words of wisdom
on the timeless war between extroverts and introverts. Lest we forget, the
extrovert would have you believe that he's somehow "better" than you. You know
the type. He bursts into a room with meaningless words spilling out of his manic
face, before looking at you with despair - as if to say, "don't you wish you
were as lively as me?". If you look at it scientifically, you certainly
SHOULDN'T be wishing you were like him! It's thought that the extrovert mind is
incapable of taking in stimuli from the outside world (they're literally
"ignorant"!). In order to compensate, they have to turn the volume up on what
little information they take in - and possibly even create dramas out thin air.
Meanwhile, the introvert mind is clocking everything in the room like a 3.0gHz
processor and may actually be overdosing on stimuli. In order to cope, they have
to tone down the volume and withdraw from any more sources of drama. Neither
extreme is particularly desirable, but you can take faith in the fact that quiet
people are actually too intelligent for their own good! Indeed, some Native
American cultures consider the quiet man to be the greatest of all men - because
he judges himself infinitely and not once does he judge others. You can trust
him because he never lies, and he's thought to be strong because he doesn't
burden others with his problems. The Buddha offered similar sentiments about
still rivers running deep, and rocks enduring the wind and rain with a steady
stance. The next time you lock horns with a boisterous oppressor, strike a glass
and hear the wisdom - the emptiest vessels make the most noise...
X Marks The Spot ~ 29th August 2006
As anybody remotely
familiar with independent game development will know, Microsoft are
hoping to seduce the most creative scene in the world with an
indy-friendly regime on their X-Box 360 console! Going by the
name of XNA, this reasonably priced box of tricks promises to bring
console game development to the bedroom coder. A lot of you have been asking
whether or not my work falls into that category, so I thought I'd release my
initial thoughts. The first thing to point out is that no matter how "simple" it
purports to be, it'll still be a far cry from what I'm doing now (I.e. C++
instead of BASIC) and will take a substantially longer time to master. However,
if the brains behind Blitz 3D and Dark BASIC join the list of
contributors hoping to simplify the process, anything could be possible once the
system has settled in next year. In the meantime, there are far more pressing
matters to contend with. The inevitable Microsoft small-print has caused
much confusion about what would happen to a game even it were successfully made.
Initial restrictions seem to suggest that the games will only be playable
amongst fellow developers, which cuts YOU out of the equation! And even if
distribution did become more viable in the months that follow, Microsoft's
hands would be all over it - imposing numerous creative and financial
limitations. Cynics would be forgiven for asserting that Microsoft are
solely intent on monopolizing what is quickly becoming the most exciting area of
game development - making sure they have a stranglehold over it as it matures in
their hands. Personally, I applaud them for so much as taking an interest and
I'm inspired by the fact that they see a future in the scene. It means I've got
one too! I'll be observing their efforts closely and if XNA blossoms into
something I can work with, we might just be onto something. If they make the tools, I'll knock the walls down...
Thin Line Between Love And Hate ~ 24th August 2006
Following the good
work at the MPire Mall, this post was supposed to herald a new era of
unprecedented co-operation between myself and the fan community. Instead, I must
once again reassess my position on outside forces. Upon embracing the benefits
of high resolution textures in my own work on World War Alpha, I now
stand accused of "stealing" the gimmick. While it's true that the mods inspired
me to step up my game, it's downright laughable to imply anything more.
Primarily because "putting more effort into your work" is plain common sense -
not a copyrighted philosophy! And secondly, because many of the techniques had
already been slowly evolving in my own work. I've always been aware of the
benefits of high resolution textures, and the only reason I steered clear was
because I didn't (and still don't) feel it was practical for a project that uses
HUNDREDS of them! As a developer and a publisher, efficiency has to outrank
spectacle in almost all of my decisions. If you must know, it's the high
resolution scenery of Grass Roots that thawed me to the idea. As for
alpha-mapped hair, grab the 2001 original of
Big BumpZ to see how "revolutionary"
that technique is! It's only workable today because of my improved programming
skills and in-game resource management. I appreciate that the editors (and their
followers) are very proud and protective of their efforts, but now is not the
time to be biting the hand that feeds you. Yes, your artistic skills surpass my
own. Congratulations, join the club! There are thousands of better artists than
me. Thousands of better programmers and musicians too. As for those that combine
all of the above (and then some) without breaking a sweat? There's only one. And
he's not the "weakest link" in the Wrestling Encore project, he's the
ONLY link! With that in mind, I'm now forced to reconsider my planned support
for fan content. On one hand, I feel duty-bound to encourage those that squeeze the
best out of my creation. On the other, why the hell would anybody promote
something that rails against them?! Dozens of fansites have vanished into thin
air for falling into the latter category. Calm down, take it as a compliment
that you've inspired change in my work, and make sure you're part of the future
instead of the past...
A Book By Its Cover ~ 31st July 2006
As the saying
suggests, "judging a book by its cover" is supposed to be so laughably ignorant
that nobody actually does it. However, I seem to have experienced nothing but
for the past 6 months. Apparently, I'm a "Thatcherite" because I chose to
educate myself about the government that presided over my childhood. I'm a "born
again Christian" because I happen to be fascinated by a Jewish philosopher that
existed 2'000 years ago (incidentally, I'm also a Buddhist, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu,
Scientologist for similar reasons!). I'm supposedly "gay" because I happen to
think Tom Cruise is a good role model and Michael Jackson is/was a creative
genius. You can be sure that I'm a "geek" because I happen to use a computer to
make a living, and yet I'm a "thug" because you can see muscle in my arms when
the summer calls for a t-shirt. Lest we forget, I'm also a "pussy" because I
donated the proceeds of Wrecked to animal welfare (the irony being that
cruelty to defenceless animals is the height of cowardice!). These may sound
like trivial misjudgements, but they're actually indicative of something more
sinister - an undeclared war between the ignorant and the enlightened. If you're
caught reading a book, you HAVE to be a victim of brainwashing - otherwise those
that don't read will have to admit that they're not intelligent. If you seem to be
fit, there HAS to be a unsavoury explanation for it - otherwise those that
aren't will have to admit that they're weak. And if you're successful, there HAS
to be foul play - otherwise those that aren't will have to acknowledge their
mistakes. At all times, when a man criticizes others he's really criticizing
himself...
Perception Is Everything ~ 24th July 2006
When I first
got a Nintendo 64 is the mid-90's, I couldn't help imagining what would
happen if that calibre of gaming was released in the mid-80's. What if a big,
playable 3D epic like Super Mario 64 was suddenly sitting next to Pong
and Space Invaders on your Atari 2600? Would players and
journalists be united in proclaiming it the greatest game ever made, showering
it with 100% and 10/10 reviews? Would it perhaps transcend gaming and be hailed
by the whole
world as an unbridled work of genius? Rather prophetically, I am now living out those thoughts in my own
career a decade later. As an independent game developer, my work moves in the
same circles as a plethora of more primitive games. Simply take a glance at the
showcases of Blitz
BASIC,
Coder's Workshop,
GameDev.net, or even
Download.com, and you'll find mine
listed alongside countless games that wouldn't have looked out of place in the
80's. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it is a very real example of the
Nintendo 64 analogy. So what's the answer? Do my sophisticated 3D
exploits glide effortlessly to the top of the class and into the hearts of my
peers? The answer is a resounding no. With the possible exception of
Download.com, my contributions get fewer reads, fewer downloads, and fewer
positive comments than the Asteroids clone next-door. Fortunately, the
outside world disagrees - so let's not turn this into a sob story! But isn't it
interesting how work of such superiority can be met with such apathy? In fact,
therein lies the answer. There is such a thing as being over-qualified. The more
you're expected to succeed, the more fun negative individuals can have by
going against the grain! If Super Mario 64 was released 20 years ago,
it would no doubt inspire an entire movement that was bent on its destruction.
Never underestimate what a human being will do to preserve its self-esteem and
dramatize its insecurities...
Introduction For The Interactive Generation ~ 24th July 2006
Hundreds of
Features and Backstage articles have never seen the light of day
because the points I wanted to make barely warranted more than a paragraph (or I
didn't have time to write the rest even if they did!). To address the issue,
I've decided to start a bite-size "Commentary" section which will serve as a
dumping ground for random thoughts about the site and games. Quite what will end
up in here over the following months even I can't be sure, but it should be an
interesting read for those that want to find out even more about my work...
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